The constant enemy of a wise person is desire, by which wisdom is concealed.
This statement may sound simple at first glance, but it holds profound depth and layers of meaning. Let’s unpack its wisdom!
The constant enemy of a wise person is desire, by which wisdom is concealed.
-Bhagvad Gita, Chapter 3, Verse 39
This statement may sound simple at first glance, but it holds profound depth and layers of meaning. Let’s unpack its wisdom and delve into the powerful insights it offers across different facets of life—be it personal fulfillment, relationships, work, or the pursuit of inner peace.
1. Leading yourself, your life and family
In life, desires often lead to restless pursuits, such as striving for a bigger house, a fancy car, or the latest iPhone, driven by societal pressures or the allure of status. While these acquisitions may provide a temporary sense of achievement, they frequently fail to deliver meaningful or lasting improvements to one's quality of life.
As an example, you may own the fastest Ferrari, but it will not help you get to office faster when you have to wade through the peak traffic daily. You may aspire to have a larger house with more rooms, but if you are a 3-person family, this upgrade may actually diminish your quality of life ( e.g: you may see your partner / kids less frequently now ) and increase maintenance costs.
The constant chase for "more" can create a cycle of dissatisfaction, as the fulfillment derived from material gains quickly fades, making way for new wants. The focus on external rewards also diverts attention from internal well-being and deeper joys, such as spending time with loved ones, cultivating personal growth, or appreciating the present moment.
Introspection Questions:
Are my desires preventing me from appreciating what I already have?
Am I able to distinguish between what I want with what I truly need?
How often do I feel satisfied, and happy?
2. Leading your career, professional growth
When desire clouds our judgment, we often make impulsive choices that cannot be justified rationally. This leads to sub-par decision making that does not build value for the actual users, or the company.
As an example, a tech leader, with a desire to get promoted, may prioritize flashy features over foundational product stability. These flashy features not only add to bloat for the customer, making the product hard to use, but also lead to additional technology debt, making the technology harder to maintain, and prone to failure. In the longer run, these overheads add up and make it harder for you to deliver impact and grow in your career.
A wise leader realizes that every single decision they make needs to provide value to the end customer, not themselves. If they succeed in providing value to the customer, it will build value for the company and ultimately growth for themselves. To achieve this, a leader must learn to pause and critically evaluate their motivations before taking decisions, and align decisions with strategic objectives rather than momentary attractions.
Introspection Questions:
How do my personal desires affect my ability to make objective decisions at work?
Do I allow the pursuit of promotions or achievements to overshadow the joy of the work itself?
How do I react when my desires at work—like recognition or rewards—go unfulfilled?
3. Building lasting relationships
Relationships often suffer from desires for validation, control, or perfection. This may lead to individuals impose unrealistic standards on themselves or loved ones, leading to frustration, conflict, or resentment.
Imagine a partner who desires their significant other to always be "perfect"—to look flawless, make no mistakes, and meet every emotional or social expectation. They may constantly critique their partner’s choices, from their clothing to the way they communicate, hoping to mold them into an ideal image. This desire stems from the partner’s own mind, but its impact on the relationship can be devastating.
Ironically, it’s the wisdom of acceptance, patience, and empathy that are essential for nurturing strong bonds. By letting go of attachment to what we expect others to be or give, we create space for authentic connections, where mutual understanding and unconditional support can flourish. This shift from desire to wisdom allows relationships to thrive on genuine love and respect rather than superficial expectations.
Introspection Questions:
Are my expectations or desires in relationships leading to unnecessary conflicts or misunderstandings?
Do I focus more on what I want to receive in a relationship than on what I can give?
What attachments or desires prevent me from being fully present and authentic in my relationships?
4. Desire → Ambition
You may now be wondering that if you do not have any desires, how will you make progress towards your personal and professional goals? Does giving up desires mean not having any goals or ambition in life?
The key thing to understand here is that “desire” and “ambition” are two completely different, and orthogonal concepts. While "desire" is a general strong wish or wanting for something, "ambition" implies a focused, active desire to achieve a specific goal, often requiring hard work and determination, making it a more goal-oriented concept than simply "desire”. It is critical that each one of us pursue our ambitions relentlessly, as that is what collectively drives progress for the humankind.
As an example, many in the early 1900s had a desire to fly, but it was Wright brothers’ ambition to revolutionize transportation that led them to success. While competitors often built flashy prototypes without fully understanding the science behind flight, the brothers studied aerodynamics, tested their ideas and failed multiple times in the pursuit of their ambition, eventually unlocking the principles of controlled, sustained flight.
So how do you differentiate between your desires and ambitions? Here is a cheat sheet that I’ve put together, that should help:
Focus: Desire is a broad craving; ambition is a focused goal-oriented pursuit.
Timeframe: Desire is short-term; ambition is long-term and sustained.
Action: Desire can be passive; ambition requires proactive effort.
Growth: Desire often lacks growth; ambition drives self-improvement.
Outcome: Desire is outcome-dependent; ambition values the process and journey.
Additionally, each of the sections above has introspection questions, that will act as your guide. These questions are designed not to induce guilt, but to invite gentle, compassionate self-exploration. The goal is to develop a more nuanced understanding of how desires operate within our consciousness, to cultivate a discerning approach to life's complexities, and to unlock the true leader within.